poke poke

  Today, I got my 4th IV in the past two months. That is the most IV's I've had in a time period in my life. You can't have an IV in a vein outpatient (Which is what we do, I get the  IV inserted at Dr. Patel's office, my parents change the bags and I carry the bag of fluid and my pump around with me in a backpack, it is pretty cool if you think about it.) for more than five days (fear of blood clots getting to your heart) and you can't do outpatient IV's for more than ten-fourteen days (fear of several key blood and vitamin levels dropping, you can have an IV in for longer if you're in a hospital because they can monitor you around the clock.). Because of this, today when the nurses were looking veins to insert an IV into they were having trouble locating a vein (you have to give veins a certain amount of time to heal-this is one of the reasons why people who are receiving chemo or other intense medical situations end up needing a port. Also, it doesn't help that my veins are difficult to find and are often hidden under tendons. After the entry needle poke, the nurse often has to wiggle the needle around several times-which is very painful-before they can get a solid blood return.

  If you've never had an IV before, consider yourself lucky. (Pain level also depends on where the vein they choose to use is located, how much they have to wiggle and if they have to try several times or not to get a return.) They are worse than most shots or getting blood drawn, the only things that have come close to the same pain level as the IV is a large shot I receive every three months (will talk about that in a later post) and allergy testing (having 81 needles inserted into my back was one of the worst experiences of my life). Getting blood drawn multiple times a month or getting a weekly shot doesn't even bother me now, which is saying something considering fibromyalgia and chronic pain make everything hurt even more. (Also, when I was in 4th grade I ran away and hid from my parents in a grocery store because I didn't want to get my flu shot-I guess you could say I've toughened up some!) IV's are something I've always dreaded yet today I realized they don't phase or scare me as much as they used to. Yes, I did still cry and scream today during the insertion but that's coming a long ways from the girl who ran away from her flu shot.

  What's my secret you may ask? Whenever I have a needle near me, a test run or a procedure being done I like to hold one of my parent's hands (call me a baby), close my eyes until it's over, and repeat out loud (weird, I know) "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". In addition, I've found my doctor is the best at getting the line started (many years of experience helps) and I have a favorite nurse I request (she does my large shot as well). Also, the farther I've gone into my POTS journey, the more invasive, intense and painful the treatment options have gotten (the emotional affects of that is a post to come). I've realized if I want to have any chance at getting any better I'm going to have to toughen up (even more) and do things I have no desire to do-for the sake and the hope of getting better.

    Since my hand and forearm veins had been used lately or they weren't good veins, my current IV is in my left elbow. You have to be extremely cautious with any IV, but the problem with elbow IV's is that in order to keep your catheter from falling out, (meaning the catheter falls out of your vein, you have to remove that catheter and get a new IV) you can't bend or move your arm, therefore you're down to essentially one arm. You know the cliche saying, "you never know what you have until it's gone"? Well, you never know how hard it is to live life with one arm until you only have one arm. (The multiple times I have been in this circumstance has given me even more respect for people like Bethany Hamilton who truly do have to live life with only one arm, and not just for two weeks, but for their entire life.) Things such as putting my hair in a ponytail, eating, using my phone, changing my shirt, typing this blog, doing homework or even bathing (my mom has to bathe me for two weeks while I have the IV in because you can't get the site wet-talk about humbling and feeling like you're losing your independence) all require assistance and are a huge chore. IV's have taught me to be thankful for my functioning and able limbs, they're definitely something I take for granted each day.

  If they're so much trouble, cause so much pain and inconvenience and are expensive why do I continue to get them? Well IV's are the only thing that has worked in the past when I'm in a state as bad as I am in now. I haven't walked since Monday and not only does that making getting around my house difficult, (crawling to the bathroom and having your dad carry you up & down the stairs in your house is no way to live) it affects me mentally and emotionally as well. When I have rough patches like this, I'm unable to get out of the house (unless it's to go to the doctor which is a HUGE task/challenge)  and I also get lonely because I'm trapped in my house so the only way I can see my friends is if they come over to see me, which is not always convenient for them or what they would like to do. (How to be a good friend to someone with a chronic illness is a post already in the works.)

  With my IV now giving me fluids, hopefully I'll get a quality good nights sleep (which I haven't had in forever), am able to take a few steps tomorrow, get some school work done and have a better day tomorrow. Maybe if I'm lucky I could even get out of the house?! How awesome that would be...

Prayers are always gladly welcomed and kind thoughts and sweet actions are appreciated.